15/07/2011 A Day that I don't want to be in facebook

That doesn't mean that I am always on facebook. It's just that something that I don't want it to happen all this while has happened. I have sensed that this will come, but deny it every time. I saw it in my dream, but I erased it every time. I am sorry that I have to write them in as vague as possible.

In time, we will meet and have to face each other. He would have bitter feelings toward me because of that weird coincidence that happened. It's a strange thing that you can become someone's enemy without even have any contact before. Perhaps he tried to say something to me. But I avoided him. Coz an angry man will not be rational in his speech.

Right now, my feelings are in a total blend.

I am anticipated for his coming, to know this person in a better sense.
... am afraid something bad would happen between us. His prejudice against me is the major obstacle in forming mutual trust and stable friendship.

... am disappointed about myself for being a loser. Firstly was because I couldn't do anything, for someone's decision did not stand me in good stead. Secondly, I didn't make myself clear enough.

... am intimidated coz he is intimidating. Hmmm... not the look la.
... helpless coz I duno how to handle such a situation.

Hapless, despair moment.

I couldn't be honest as the way I usually was, because this time it's different.
I told myself countless time that I must be able to look beyond the circumstances at times. I must prove I can.
So, let bygone be bygone.
I must get rid of the selfish idea (partly because I am not good at being a selfish person) that I must win in this competition. And I shouldn't view it as a competition in the first place. In fact, I guess I nid to continuously losing. Haha.

U know what, right after I've done with this blog, I am feeling ok d =)
Cheers, for the uncertain road ahead of us.