The feeling of disappointment or rejection is never wanted by you or me. However, tossing a coin up and the outcome is either ‘Head’ or ‘Tail’. Same goes to everyone who tries to plunge into the sea of love. A relationship between a boy & a girl is founded upon the mutual strong feeling/admiration/desire to be together. Yet, without certain understandings, a relationship may be very vulnerable. A relationship has to confront with inevitable challenges, barriers, obstacles, at times. If not managed well, I guess you could guess one of the following episodes of melancholy to take place. But it all depends on how wise and rational you both are, and how both of you perceive barrier as a test, isn’t it? Have your relationship ever met with the following obstacles:
We’re constantly seeking for people who may appear to be compatible to us. Once we found flaw in one another, some would opt to switch partner, some would stay & find a balance between their respective needs, some would insist to continue without seeking any solution (they tolerate). The different approaches used reflect their mentalities & maturity. Note that there is no right or wrong options, it’s very subjective.
Let’s take some examples of common, real-world challenges:
Case 1
This is a couple of different religions, in which one of them is a Christian whereas the other one is a Buddhist. The Buddhist explained to the Christian that Buddha is not a religion actually, but it’s a doctrine, a necessary education. The Christian insisted that the Buddhist must make some compromises(change religion?) as he/she wants a partner of same religion, as well as what his/her parents want. The Buddhist has no qualm of accompanying the Christian to Sunday church service/fellowship/attending to a preach, but are not ready to make any radical switch in his/her own religion for fear that his/her very act would disappoint/infuriate/insult his/her family. Solution?
Case 2
The couple has a sweet time before. Until a stage of life, one of them or might even both of them have to separate from each other due to certain reason (may be study, occupation, migration, etc). The couple was so depressed upon receiving the news that they were about to face separation. Yet, they decided to maintain this relationship. Good! They have nightly calls, if possible every night, they chatted via msn/yahoo,etc, through sending SMS. But as days melted into weeks & weeks melted into months then years, assuming that they didn’t physically meet each other for months, they discovered that they have less common topics to chat about. Length of the messages was also becoming shorter & shorter. Occasionally, the boy/girl would implied his/her tiredness to go on with this state of relationship… This is heart-breaking. Firstly, presence were not felt. Then, enthusiasm gone. The passion of love fickle then receded into a complicated form of relationship. Solution?
Case 3
This couple is of different mother-tongue. She speaks English, he speak fluent Chinese, but stammer when comes to communicating in English. At the very beginning, she accepted his weaknesses. They hung out with a bunch of her friends who speak English but unable to speak Chinese. The next thing you would find out is that in the group, that poor boy was the most silent fellow while they chatted merrily. He was only able to watch at her, watch the shape of their lips in constant changes, watch another guy chatted with her, so happily… This continued to happen. Finally, he felt himself was being left out, her friends would even sniffe at him. What can he do? Solution?
Case 4
This couple is perceived by others as perfect! The boy possesses all good traits and good looking, the girl is equally intelligent and pretty. The only difference is that they boy has his own priority to be taken care of, the girl is out-going & demanded his company. He liked her, but he loved his works more than anything else. At times, he refused her invitation to go to a friend’s birthday party, special function, Sing K, … bla bla bla (any activities that an out-going person would go for). Then, one day her tolerance was stretched to its full capacity. Even the slightest mistake done by the boy would arouse her anger/dissatisfaction. He apologized, she forgave, and this kept coming until she could no longer put up with him… Solution?
Have you been into their shoes? Are you able to approach these problems tactfully & wisely without rendering any harm to either of the partners?
Oh Great Scientists, pls find a formula to fix it! I will award u more lucrative than Nobel Prize…haha.
- Language Barrier
- Distance Barrier
- Race Difference
- Cultural Divide
- Religion Divide
- Different Belief/point of view
- Misunderstanding
- Affair(s)-triangle relationship, etc
- Priority
- Habits
- Behaviour/Personality
- Parents’ Concern/Objection
- Background
We’re constantly seeking for people who may appear to be compatible to us. Once we found flaw in one another, some would opt to switch partner, some would stay & find a balance between their respective needs, some would insist to continue without seeking any solution (they tolerate). The different approaches used reflect their mentalities & maturity. Note that there is no right or wrong options, it’s very subjective.
Let’s take some examples of common, real-world challenges:
Case 1
This is a couple of different religions, in which one of them is a Christian whereas the other one is a Buddhist. The Buddhist explained to the Christian that Buddha is not a religion actually, but it’s a doctrine, a necessary education. The Christian insisted that the Buddhist must make some compromises(change religion?) as he/she wants a partner of same religion, as well as what his/her parents want. The Buddhist has no qualm of accompanying the Christian to Sunday church service/fellowship/attending to a preach, but are not ready to make any radical switch in his/her own religion for fear that his/her very act would disappoint/infuriate/insult his/her family. Solution?
Case 2
The couple has a sweet time before. Until a stage of life, one of them or might even both of them have to separate from each other due to certain reason (may be study, occupation, migration, etc). The couple was so depressed upon receiving the news that they were about to face separation. Yet, they decided to maintain this relationship. Good! They have nightly calls, if possible every night, they chatted via msn/yahoo,etc, through sending SMS. But as days melted into weeks & weeks melted into months then years, assuming that they didn’t physically meet each other for months, they discovered that they have less common topics to chat about. Length of the messages was also becoming shorter & shorter. Occasionally, the boy/girl would implied his/her tiredness to go on with this state of relationship… This is heart-breaking. Firstly, presence were not felt. Then, enthusiasm gone. The passion of love fickle then receded into a complicated form of relationship. Solution?
Case 3
This couple is of different mother-tongue. She speaks English, he speak fluent Chinese, but stammer when comes to communicating in English. At the very beginning, she accepted his weaknesses. They hung out with a bunch of her friends who speak English but unable to speak Chinese. The next thing you would find out is that in the group, that poor boy was the most silent fellow while they chatted merrily. He was only able to watch at her, watch the shape of their lips in constant changes, watch another guy chatted with her, so happily… This continued to happen. Finally, he felt himself was being left out, her friends would even sniffe at him. What can he do? Solution?
Case 4
This couple is perceived by others as perfect! The boy possesses all good traits and good looking, the girl is equally intelligent and pretty. The only difference is that they boy has his own priority to be taken care of, the girl is out-going & demanded his company. He liked her, but he loved his works more than anything else. At times, he refused her invitation to go to a friend’s birthday party, special function, Sing K, … bla bla bla (any activities that an out-going person would go for). Then, one day her tolerance was stretched to its full capacity. Even the slightest mistake done by the boy would arouse her anger/dissatisfaction. He apologized, she forgave, and this kept coming until she could no longer put up with him… Solution?
Have you been into their shoes? Are you able to approach these problems tactfully & wisely without rendering any harm to either of the partners?
Oh Great Scientists, pls find a formula to fix it! I will award u more lucrative than Nobel Prize…haha.
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